Thanksgiving

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, and I spent the holiday with extended family.  I love my family, but we don't always share the same values and beliefs, which makes for interesting holiday conversations.  I thought a great deal today about what I have been truly thankful for this year, and what people and events have deeply touched my life.  My list may be a little different than most. But then again, so am I.

I am thankful for the handful of relatives who love me the way I am, instead of asking me to change to fit their expectations.  I am thankful for my children, who keep me honest and stretch my mind and heart in ways I never imagined before I became a parent.

I am thankful for my "harem" of men who have lunch with me regularly, stimulate my mind and graciously tolerate my questions and tangents.  I'm grateful for their humor, insight, and loving support.  The activities and conversations I have shared with them help keep me whole.

I am thankful for the handful of people at my workplace that I can truly talk to about meaningful things, and not just jewelry parties or clothing sales.  They keep me sane in an atmosphere that is largely based on appearance and presentation, and give me hope in an environment that often feels suffocating and shaming.

I am thankful for the one division manager in my workplace who has made a point to be pleasant and kind to me, even during very challenging times between myself and other senior staff.  Her attitude is an unexpected light in the midst of their darkness.

I am thankful for my intimate friends,  many of which I have known for twenty years or more.  The ability to speak freely, to seek out support, to be accepted as I am is infinitely precious to me.  Only in your circles am I truly at peace.

I am thankful for my dog, who is always happy to see me, always listens, and adores me.  I am also thankful for my cats, who always know when I am sick or sad, and who offer their silent support by draping themselves over me for hours at a time.

I am thankful for my ability to express myself in writing, giving me an outlet for thoughts and feelings that might never make coherent sense if I had to speak them rather than put them into written words.

I am thankful for my chiropractor,  who puts me back together when I am broken; and the lunch ladies at work, who always take a moment to chat.  I am thankful for the custodians who know my name and hold the elevator for me when everyone else seems to walk past me and not see me. I am thankful for my car salesman, who shares many of my posts on Facebook and who sold me an awesome car that will easily go through all the snow this winter; and for his girlfriend, who has amazing tattoos and an enormous heart.


I am thankful for my plaid down comforter, my space heater,  and the curling iron my daughter has taught me how to use after I cut my long hair.   I am thankful for budget theaters and large size boxes of NERDS candy; for gel pens and legal pads to write poetry with.  I am thankful for comfortable slip on shoes, and the people I know who wear them.

I am thankful that I've made it through a sometimes very challenging year to write this list.

Happy Thanksgiving

Finding Water

Last night I attended the opening of the exhibit "I Am Water",  at the Form and Content Gallery in Minneapolis.  There was amazing water based art to view on the walls and a number of readings, accompanied by some very talented musical folks on the drums and flute.  My friend David Grant was one of the readers, and he sang a song he had written about the water goddesses in Africa,  stunning us with his beautiful singing voice.  It was an entertaining and enlightening evening.

Strangely enough, I had been thinking about the theme of water that week. In a conversation with a friend she had said "you don't go to the desert to find water"; and I thought at the time how true that was about life in general.   When we seek connection and affirmation, it makes sense to look for that where we will be welcomed and supported, not where we will be judged or minimized.   So in essence, our whole lives are a process of "finding water".  Finding where we fit in life, finding ourselves and the people and activities we can truly resonate with.  I decided at the time that that phrase would be the title for my newest book of poetry.   It is partially finished and speaks to the experience of being part of groups and organizations that are not healthy, not welcoming, not whole, while also describing the people and moments that I find meaning and connection in.   It was with irony and some awe that I realized the title of the exhibit last night as "I Am Water"- I had thought of it as "my friend David's reading" and had  never looked closely at the title.   The Universe has an interesting sense of humor.

I found myself connecting to the poetry and music, lulled by the rhythmic beat of the drums and the haunting sound of the flute. I was able to meet some of the poets who had read their work, and reconnect with my long time friend David.  I realized that in all the years I have known him, this is the first time I had heard him read, and the first time I realized what an incredible singing voice he had.  The words and the rhythms were deep, and heartfelt.  This was not an event for shallow sentiments. This was people sharing a little bit of their souls, and finding some nourishment for themselves in the process.  A good first step for someone whose goal for the new year is to find water- to find meaning and connection in a world that is not always kind to those who are a little different.