There is a wonderful flower artist in town, who decorates the landscapes of the Cities with his handmade flowers. He takes pictures in familiar places- the Sculpture Garden, Fort Snelling, Lake Calhoun; and turns these familiar places into magical bursts of color and life. His name is David Cook, and I love his work. The fact that he is a man in recovery and someone who has struggled with depression makes these gorgeous works of art even more meaningful to me.
Friday David was in Hastings putting out his flowers, when two middle aged men in a large truck screamed a gay slur at him, and displayed their middle fingers before speeding off like the cowards they were. I found this very upsetting, and put the following post on my facebook page: David- you are a very talented artist, and every time I see your work it makes me happy. As for the two middle aged men yelling slurs at David in Hastings-your behavior really shows who you are. My mother once said that only people who really don't like themselves very much harass others, and I think that's probably the truth. Your behavior tells me that you are insecure, immature, and have no solid sense of who you are as men. If you think you are somehow making yourself more attractive to women with that kind of behavior, think again. No emotionally healthy woman would want to be around someone who is behaving like that. Ignorance and abusiveness are not attractive qualities. Your small-minds... and empty hearts will come back to bite you.
It's hard for me to comprehend why two grown men would want to harass someone they don't know. It makes me wonder what their relationships are with the women in their lives, their coworkers, their friends. I wonder what their children would think if they saw their fathers behaving like this towards a man who was doing nothing more than making their town a little more beautiful. I wonder why they feel so threatened and so insecure as men that they felt the need to attack someone they felt wasn't "manly" enough. Truth be told, I think David is the real man here, and that those two middle aged men don't have a clue about what "being a man" really means. I wonder where they learned their hatred, and if they are passing it on to their children. I wonder if they go to church on sunday and talk about God; then behave like this in the community, like there is no discrepancy or hypocrisy about that.
I think those two men have a lot to learn about what it means to be a human being, as well as what it means to be a man. The men I spend time with in my life are intelligent and compassionate people. They spend time and energy trying to make the world a better place; they treat others with respect and kindness. They stand up for those who are tormented by men like the two men in Hastings who heckled David. The men I spend time with don't make judgements on people based on their sexual orientation, their race, their gender, their income status. They are centered in who they are, and don't feel threatened by people who are not exactly the same as they are. These are the qualities I associate with "real" men; not the insecurity and hatred that David was shown. If those two men in Hastings only knew that what they showed to the world was not strength, but weakness. The weakness of their narrow minds and their stunted hearts- their dysfunctional ideas about what makes a person a man or a woman. The weakness of their insecurity and fear when confronted with a gentle man putting out flowers. If they only knew how ugly their actions appear against the backdrop of those vivid blooms, and how ironic that seems to me. But that would require insight, and I think those two are in short supply of that. Meanwhile David continues on, lighting up the landscape with his beautiful creations, and leaving the world a more fabulous place than he found it.
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