Last weekend I got to meet Tia, the beautiful baby in my arms in the pictures above. Her mom Katie is my honorary niece, and I have known her for over twenty years. I remember her being a feisty, articulate little girl, and now she is a grown woman with a child of her own. Funny how the wheel keeps turning, the children keep growing, and suddenly there is a new generation of babies to hold. Amazing.
It has been a long time since I last held a tiny baby. My youngest child is thirteen and came home to me at the age of eleven months, as a solid twenty pound baby. My oldest is twenty now, and weighed in at five pounds, three ounces. I remember being afraid to hold her and bathe her; afraid that she would break somehow while I learned how to be a mother. I learned, and she didn't break. She has gone on to attend college and learn all kinds of new things. Holding Tia reminded me of when my kids were young, and frankly, when I was young. It took me a few minutes to remember how to hold her, but Tia is a good teacher, and I caught on quickly. I spent much of the visit holding and feeding her, enthralled by the "tiny baby aura" that she gave off. When she was sleeping, she looked just like one of the porcelain dolls on tv that sell for a mere four payments of 19.99. So perfect, so innocent.
It never occurred to me when I was younger that I would one day be an "older relative", watching the children I had known transform into adults with babies of their own. I never pictured myself past twenty five, yet here I am, forty seven years old and watching the new generation be born. I"m grateful to have made it this far, thanks in large part to the amazing supports I had in my life as a young woman. Katie's mother was one of those supports. She helped me find safe passage through many difficult times in my life, and taught me more than all my therapists combined. I hope that I will be able to pass on a fraction of what she taught me to the younger women who surround me now, and I look forward to more years of holding beautiful newborns like Tia. Tia is a vivid reminder that life continues to spring forward, forever new and precious as the wheel continues to turn.
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