Nipples and Duct Tape

I have your attention now, don’t I? This week North Carolina’s State House Judiciary Committee approved a bill (House bill 34) that would make it a Class H felony to “purposefully expose private parts for the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire”. The bill expanded the state’s definition of private parts to include "a woman’s nipple, or any portion of the areola”.  Republican state representative Tim Moore states in the Valentine’s Day edition of “The Raw Story” that women can protect themselves from prosecution by duct taping their nipples.  “Duct tape fixes everything”, he quips.  Sadly, a woman, Republican state representative Rayne Brown co-sponsored this bill.  She stated that she cosponsored the bill because a topless women’s rights rally had been held last summer, and she wanted to prevent “women from asserting their rights again by going topless at another rally”.  

So many issues here- where to begin? First of all, it appears that what is most offensive to these folks is how the exposure of a woman’s body part affects the men around her, not the actual exposure itself.  If a man sees a woman’s nipple and becomes aroused, that is now something she is held accountable for and could be sent to jail for; not him.  The over aroused man holds no responsibility for his own body, or his own behavior in relation to said arousal.  He is the blameless victim of someone else’s insidious ability to  arouse him, and that person needs immediate and severe punishment for the discomfort that this could cause him.  Poppycock.  I am subject on many a summer day to the sight of men with generous pecs bobbing along on their riding lawn mowers.  As arousing as this excessive pendulous flesh may be, I control my baser urges.I  look my neighbors in the eye, say hello, and go on with my day. I think men should be taught to do the same thing. 

Secondly, this bill makes it a felony for a woman to expose her nipples. A FELONY.  While domestic violence is most frequently prosecuted as a misdemeanor with minimal penalties, exposure of a woman’s God given body parts can now result in six months in jail.  What is it about the sight of the human body that is so much more frightening to some people than violence?  Is the sight of a nipple so much more egregious than the sight of a woman with a black eye and a broken arm?  Where are the priorities in their outrage? 

 The authors of this bill are lucky that they don’t have to take into consideration my definition of what is arousing.  Men would have to curtail many of their every day activities to escape the boundaries of what I might consider attractive.  That touch of grey in their  hair- cover it up.  The way their hands manipulate a trackball. The way their eyes peer over their bifocals when they look at me.  Shameless. I’m almost losing control right now.  And let’s not forget intelligence, sensitivity, kindness, and humor.  The way their eyes unabashedly hold mine; the way they linger over a handshake.  The tone of their voice as they hold a class spellbound with their stories.  Their courage and strength in the face of adversity, and the empathy they show to others when they share their experiences.  Men would have to be totally shrouded to escape my notice, because I see them as whole people, and find much of their attractiveness to be in their largest erogenous zones; their minds and their hearts.  I may have to take a cold shower after writing this, just thinking about those emotional hussies and the damage they could do to our “civilized” society.  The power they hold over my delicate psyche with the arch of an eyebrow or the “come hither” look in their slightly amused eyes.  Someone should write a law against that.  Or better yet, I will get out my big girl pants, take responsibility for my own feelings and behaviors regarding what I find attractive, and say Bring. It. On.