The Men that Matter (otherwise known as "the harem")

One of my New Year's resolutions was to thank the small circle of men in my life who have the courage and fortitude to deal with me on a regular basis.  Standing toe to toe, mind to mind with me is not for the faint of heart.  I am not an easy woman in any sense of the word. I question, I argue, I agonize.  So without further ado...

To the select group of men in my life who don’t shrink from me in abject terror or try to silence me- thank you.  To sit with you and unleash my thoughts, my fears, my frustrations, without the burden of having to translate myself into someone “more acceptable”  is such a relief.  

That doesn’t mean you don’t challenge me or make me think; or that you don’t hold me accountable for my behavior.  But you love me, you accept me, and you don’t ask me to be anything other than what I am. For that I am profoundly grateful.  There have been others who couldn’t tolerate someone who questioned them or had different beliefs;  someone who didn’t blindly obey them.   You welcomed those qualities.  I saw you watching me with affectionate pride when I made a good argument, played a good game of cribbage, passionately stood up for something I believed in.  

A handful of you have had my back all these years.  Intelligent, creative, strong men; all with an incredible sense of humor and a certain insightful empathy.  You are the circle I draw strength from,  and I hope I give sustenance and strength to you as well.  

I know I test your patience and your will at times.  I have been called a "formidable force" (among many other names) for a reason.  I know I ask you to step outside your comfort zone, to share some of the deepest parts of yourselves with me.  I sometimes ask questions that have no easy answers, or rage against injustices that are larger than I am.   Your calm centers me.  Your counsel gives me direction without attempting to control me.  Your comfort during some of the most difficult times of my life has given me great peace.

I will never be an easy woman.  I will always search, agonize, and challenge. I will push the limits of what I understand, what I value, what I believe in, what I will fight for.  I'm grateful and eternally blessed to be making that journey with all of you.  I am a much better version of myself than I might have been, if I had not had each of you in my life.   Thank you.